May 2013
letterstogodptiii:
tea-books-and-blankets:
yaygocats:
discomplete:
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
vavin-free:
loki-cat:
i hate those days where you have so much stuff/hw/projects due the next day that you just freeze up and go on the internet until 9pm as an attempt to escape the stress
What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
vanswarped:
“why the fuck did i start liking bands” an autobiography by me
buttsdotcom:
I need to lose 30 pounds in today
skypestripper:
hi yes i would like a glass of attention please
amyponder:
but honestly i feel like i’ve earned my accidental random encounter with a celebrity by now
killself:
visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
otterparade:
cityofbadass:
Do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all the expressions on your face?
“And then there’s this asshole”
the only reason i stay inside all day is to avoid the paparazzi
leonmcgann:
i’m not homophobic, i’m not scared of my house
diverged:
I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
kllk070911:
no-good-deerstalker:
deanfuckingcas:
dat-assbutt-tho:
way-too-sarcastic:
reblogallthenerdythings:
As far as I can tell, if something starts with ‘M’, it’s bad news
Morgoth
Mordred
Mount Doom
Darth Maul
The Master
Moriarty
Morganna
Moffat
Mark Gatiss
METATRON
Monday
Menstruation
arkenstoners:
‘stop being so dramatic’
‘i don’t know what you’re talking about’ sings the gay opera dubstep vampire while being raised up in the air surrounded by flowing fabric and dancing devils
-annoying:
i wanna play twister with someone really hot
oops i fell & touched your whole body
